2014 was God awful, so let's join hands and be thankful it's over. Look at 2015. Look at all that hope. In January alone we have 3 cards that are more interesting than almost anything from last year. We've got a lengthy list of resolutions that will never be fulfilled. For the first time in what seems like years we have a fight that you've looked forward to for months instead of looking at the schedule and saying "so how early am I going to have to wake up to watch these nobodies fight this weekend." Things are looking up after a down year, which can only mean Cormier is going to hit his head on a pipe backstage and call off the fight.
Jon Jones vs Daniel Cormier
This has got to be one of the biggest matchups in UFC history, right? It's so rare in MMA to watch two guys who truly despise each other fight. Usually you get manufactured drama, unconvincing shoves at the weigh in, and the same video package of knockouts spliced with Joe Rogan sound bites. I can't tell you how excited I am to watch two guys who would gladly beat the shit out of each other for free behind a Denny's compete at the highest level of the sport.
I don't know if you're aware of this, but this Jon Jones guy is pretty good. If you're not aware of his background, he was genetically manufactured to be the perfect milquetoast Jesus freak/unstoppable fighter hybrid somewhere in Nike laboratories. Chinese children worked tirelessly day and night to construct this Melvin. Go ahead, ask him about his brand.
Jones has the uncanny ability to win fights solely by circling his opponent and throwing straight jabs. His reach is so ridiculous that he has defended his title on more than one occasion by waiting for his opponent to close the distance and then throwing a jab and saying "boop" while donking them on the forehead. Rashad Evans still hasn't fully recovered from it.
That's the real sticking point of this fight to me - how does Cormier get inside? I would love nothing more than to see Daniel land one of those giant Christmas hams right on Bones' chin and lay him out cold. Imagine Jones attempting a spinning elbow and turning right into that gloved cinder block. The next thing he sees is Steve Mazzagatti staring down at him. "Are you ok Jon? Jon? Hey pussy, are you still there?"
How does Cormier consistently close the distance? I'm not saying he'll never lay a hand on him. But even if he does, if he counters one of Jon's goofy ass elbows and gets in close and lands a nice combo, then what? Ask Glover Teixeira about getting in Jones' clinch. Cormier is too good a fighter to get completely shut down like some of Jon's previous opponents, but I don't see him keeping up with him.
Jon will just wear him down. Cormier has never gone 3 rounds as a light heavyweight, much less five. He's going to lose steam further along and we've seen Jones be just as dangerous in round five as round one. Cormier will land some nice shots and takedowns, but Jones will leg kick him into a living hell. I would love Cormier to win. I'd love to see him hit Jones so hard that his head flies off like a Mortal Kombat fatality. But until that happens, he's in GSP, Silva, and Fedor terrirotry and I'm gonna stop looking like an idiot and picking against him until he loses. Once that happens I will edit this post, pick Cormier, and say I knew it all along.
Jones by unanimous decision that's going to be more boring than most people expect
Donald Cerrone vs Myles Jury
America's favorite fighter Donald Cerrone has won five fights in a row. A win here would put him in the illustrious category of "stay healthy until someone gets injured and then you get a title shot." Being this close to tasting UFC gold means it's time a for a heartbreaking loss that puts him right back where he started. Donald Cerrone's UFC career is like Sorry: every time he makes it near the end some other contender lands on his spot and sends him right back to Start.
You might know Miles Jury from that one time he murdered Takanori Gomi in Japan and then tried to play to the crowd by telling them he was gonna go get some sushi. Instead of showering him with cheers and applause, they stared in uncomfortable silence at the dudebro who had just murdered one of their heroes. Sure it was an impressive win, but beating Takanori Gomi shouldn't be at the top of your resume in 2015.
Cerrone is in the prime of his career and just recently unleashed a biblical ass beating upon Eddie Alvarez only a couple of months ago. He took a few weeks off to go wake boarding, rock climbing, jump of out planes, chug some Steveweisers, and throw Leonard Garcia around his ranch. You know, Cowboy shit.
Everyone in the world knows Cerrone is a slow starter. Jury's best bet is to come out swinging and not let Cerrone find his groove. Unforunately for Miles, I don't see a world in which Jury finishes Cerrone in five minutes, which means it will only be a matter of time until Cowboy kicks him right in the face and locks in a triangle choke. Jury doesn't have any glaring flaws, but the biggest test he's faced is the tattered husk of flesh that is Diego Sanchez.
Cerrone by unanimous decision and gets one step closer to winning the lightweight title and rebranding it the UFC Smoking Skull Championship
Nate Marquardt vs Brad Tavares
Every single time I see Nate Marquardt's name I think to myself "Jesus dude, still?" He's a smart guy, he knows he's not going to win a title. He's 35, he has to have saved up some money by this point.
Tavares is steadily improving but still has yet to put the pieces together. He's not a terribly exciting fighter and doesn't leave much of an imprint on the judges (or fans). He's just kind of...there. The second he's off your screen you shake your brain like an etch a sketch and lose all memory of him. The outcome of this fight leans more on Nate's performance than his.
You never know which Marquardt is going to show up. Is he going to go in there and commit a hate crime or is he going to stand there for 15 minutes and wait for the other guy to make the first move? There are some fights where he will bullrush them and stomp a proverbial mudhole in their ass, and there are fights where he will stand there like he's playing Duck, Duck, Goose and patiently waiting for Yushin Okami to say "goose." I don't know what I trust less about Nate at this point in his career - his mindset or his chin. Either way, he at least has a decent shot of finishing the fight, so I'll give this snoozer to him.
Marquardt by who cares
Kyoji Horiguchi vs Louis Gaudinot
Horiguchi is a top Japanese prospect, meaning it's only a matter of time before he loses 3 straight and washes out in World Series of Fighting. The Gooch is better than Gaudinot at just about everything. He has power, he's hard to take down, great offensive wrestling, and is relentless from the top.
Gaudinot is...hard to knock out? I guess he can win if he gets punched in the face so many times it breaks both of Horiguchi's hands, but there's a reason he's a +500 underdog
Horiguchi by unanimous decision
Hector Lombard vs Josh Burkman
Why have one complete mismatch when you can have two? Burkman had a 6 year "vacation" from the UFC and his homecoming is against...Hector Lombard. Sorry about your luck, Josh. Hope you enjoyed your quick stay and have Scott Coker's number on hand.
The one chance I'm seeing people give Burkman is the fact that in 37 career fights (Jesus Christ, man) he's never been knocked out. That's true, but that doesn't mean he's never been knocked down. Not only has that happened, but it's happened at the hands of Jon Fitch.
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